the life of richie

18

Posted in is, Married Life by Rich on April 18, 2010

In 1858, William Farr writes,
“The single individual is more likely to be wrecked on his voyage
than the lives joined together in matrimony.”

I read this in my one-bedroom apartment,
sipping a solitary cup of black coffee,
readying to heat a single packet of oatmeal ––

Think of Whitman, at the end of his life,
sitting alone in a rowhouse in Camden;
he watches the breeze startle the curtains ––

And smile; and think,
“The untold want by life and land ne’er granted,
Now voyager sail thou forth to seek and find.”

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THE STRANGE HABITS OF MARRIED PEOPLE, PART I

Posted in is, Married Life by Rich on November 17, 2009

A special Life of Richie series of reports

An article in the Guardian claims that married men do not buy their own underwear; that their wives buy all of their underwear for them. Can it be? But according to married friends, it be. One friend admits to have switched her new husband over to boxer-briefs, and when Rich asks Lori if she buys underwear for Jeff, she says sure, as if it is expected, written in the vows as it were: “To love, honor, and buy underwear for –– in boxers or in briefs –– so long as the charge card is accepted.” (All men.)

Rich goads Karen, texting, “Maybe you should start hanging out in the men’s underwear section of Boscov’s,” to which she responds, “I’ll camp out there. Well maybe not Boscov’s. Maybe a slightly more upscale mall.”

THE MORAL: It is a truth now universally acknowledged, that a single man who shops for his own underwear must be in want of a wife. Or, you know, gay.

Comments Off on THE STRANGE HABITS OF MARRIED PEOPLE, PART I